MrAsh on the 23rd Sep, 2014
I'd like to know why Garry North has glaringly skipped discussing the causes of sex addiction and compulsion in some gay/bi men. This article 'Are We Pathologizing Gay Men by Calling Them Sex Addicts?' by Alexandra Katehakis, Psychology Today (July 12, 2011) gives a good overview of the causes. The problem arises when sexual behavior is not rooted in a quest for pleasure or connection, but in escapism and avoidance, which can lead to sexual compulsivity and addiction. Sex addiction is considered an intimacy disorder, in which the need for immediate arousal replaces the need or capacity for intimacy. The repeated, ritualized actions are continued despite negative consequences and are always followed by intense shame. Sex addiction certainly does not discriminate, but given the profound nature of internalized homophobia suffered by many gay men, there could be an increased risk of sex addiction and compulsivity. The high level of shame prevents intimacy and promotes isolation and disconnection. The accompanying pain leads a sex addict to seek relief through intense, frequent experiences and behaviors that numb this pain. Shame around having gay sex has also been linked to crystal meth use, which heightens arousal and intensity during sex, while lowering inhibitions. The correlation between crystal meth use and HIV infection is alarming. A sexually compulsive lifestyle destroys the chance to be present for a loving, intimate relationship, which ironically, is often what's desired most. This lifestyle is easily masked as the sowing of one's wild oats, and perhaps more difficult to identify as a problem for long periods of time.
Monday 9 February 2015
Can you be addicted to sex? (part 2 of 2)
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